Feedback Thoughts

(Photo for Web Source.)

RECEIVING:

Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head
Look for the Positive: using one's strength is just as beneficial, if not more, than improving our weaknesses. So constructive criticism is important, but focusing on what one did well is crucial to betterment.
Hear the positive: Embrace and reuse tactics that brought forth the positive feedback, not just the negative.
Dig in to understand the positive: I think exploring praise is something a lot of people have difficulty with because some people will misinterpret this as being smug or arrogant. So learning how to response and communicate with someone without coming off as overconfident is important.
Believe the positive, and act as if it were true: I have trouble following with this step. Despite being given praise and positive feedback, I usually do not believe those who tell me I have done well. Believing what they are saying is something I need to work on, and I hope to succeed in not doubting those who give me positive feedback because they are usually my peers and friends.

Practice, practice, practice listening to those who provide positive feedback and praise.

Using Harsh Feedback to Fuel Your Career

"We hold ourselves back without even realizing it. Why?"

We confuse behavior with identity: Being defensive, oh my old friend. Internalizing negative feedback to your person instead of viewing it as constructive criticism. This also has to go both ways though, because if we are learning how not to internalize negative feedback, we are later reading on how to give feedback. So, the individual who is giving the feedback could not be giving it correctly (but that could be that little thing called defensiveness).
We believe in the fallacy of well-roundedness: I am little confused on this part. From my interpretation, I should set goals for myself, but I should not hold myself to them if they do not turn out as I planned? Also, I should look for help and collaborate with someone who enjoys the task.
We're perfectionists: I have issues with this. I will also push an assignment until the last minute because I do not think myself capable of completing the assignment/project until I have a sense of complete understanding. This ties in with the second point the author mentioned when he stated look for collaborators.

How to overcome these obstacles:
1. Embrace emotions: I do this anyway!
2. Do not demonize: My response to this is: "Love/Care about me less." Very awkward way of investing in me...
3. Prioritize: Go through the feedback and determine what's worth fixing. I do not tend to do this; I weight all feedback equally and I know my mindset is faulty.
4. Piggyback on a skill: or a weakness and work it in a way that is beneficial for you.
5. Commit: Perfection is fantasy. Be appreciate of negative feedback because reflecting back on that feedback will help overcome those weaknesses.



GIVING:

Be a Mirror: Give Readers Feedback That Fosters a Growth Mindset

Five Qualities of Feedback:
1. Be specific: Focus on the progression of how they read the book instead of say how they did it.
2. Focus on what the reader is doing: Not on what they are missing. Only mention what a mirror would notice, and not what is not there.
3. Focus on the process: especially the hard work they put into reading. We want to value their progression and efforts rather than the immediate end result.
4. Make sure it can transfer: We want to be able to apply this to other things not just reading a book.
5. Take yourself out of the feedback: Focus on the child and not the adult. Instead of saying "I liked this part.." one should use "When you..." I think we should use this, but we are not children and I want to write topics that an adult would enjoy. I would like the constructive feedback, and I want to hear they enjoyed my reasonings for writing a detail or few and discuss that aspect of it.

The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem

"You must have worked really hard.": Focus on the efforts of the individual rather than giving end of the results praise like "You're really smart." Focusing on the efforts increases the child's or individuals self-esteem and unconsciously teaches them through hard work and overcoming challenges is rewarding.

"Every child before the age of eight, is a narcissist." I love it, and then heartbreak because parents are doing this unknowingly as they grow older. Parents are overvaluing their children by not praising the their efforts of their hard work, but rather the end results. By the end of the study, the team could link each child's tendency toward self-esteem or narcissism back to the parents. Narcissism is linked to violent outbursts when special treat is not given and because they lack empathy.

Praise on effort increases the chances the child will work harder to succeed after a failure.

Week 2 Storytelling: False

False

(Psyche grovels to Aphrodite from Web Source.)

Venus scowled at the girl from under thick brows and watched with no remorse when the girl hiccuped through her sobs as she fretted over her ruined silks, the shreds of her hair and hesitantly touched her shorn head.

Sitting on the floor was a rightful place for mortals, crying over their misfortunes.

How? How could mortal beings compare this child to her? A goddess? The sneer distorted her pale features at the thought of her son loving a mortal.

What her son saw in such creatures, she did not know. Nor did she desire to know. Mortal fear and worship energized the immortals, so why would her son fall to disgrace to bound himself to this girl?

Her son was a fool, falling in love with a mortal. He knew love was fleeting. He was the caster of fleeting love to please the mischief in his blood, creating chaotic love to soothe the unruliness inside him. The Goddess of Love herself knew, love was fleeting. She knew love diminished over time even for immortals.

There was only one kind of love to withstand time itself; millions claimed to have found such a treasure, but pure love had only existed twice in Venus’ lifetime.

The sneer turned into a malicious smirk as an idea wormed its way through her mind.

Oh, she thought, what a delicious way to destroy him, to make him see reason. No one can withstand my powers of persuasion.

She could not help the rumbling chuckle fall from her pink lips. She knew the girl, the foolish mortal, was trying to find Cupid. Her son was licking his wounds in her palace; he was biding his time until he could go search for his mortal lover not knowing his mortal was right under his nose. Even if he did know of his lover’s whereabouts, he would not be able to leave the confines of his chambers. He would not be seen unless she wished it.

Soon, but not yet.

Watery, green eyes cautiously peeked at the goddess. Psyche watched the beautiful immortal twirled her long fingers through long, reddish, blonde hair as light eyes pierced her soul.

The elegant immortal moved from her throne, floating slowly around the room as her eyes gazed daggers at the girl’s tense form.

The goddess circled the girl, staying far enough way from the mortal to decrease chances of touching her. She chuckled somewhat amused when the girl stared back at her. Brave and stupid. She had made the little mortal angry; her lips were pulled tight over her teeth as she smiled viciously.

Venus stopped in front of Psyche and knelt before her. Psyche drew in a startled breath, but did not move away out of defiance.

“Pricked by an arrow, you harbor false love for my son. After I show him the truth of your falseness, I will not allow you to live.”

Psyche’s eyebrows furrowed and squared her shoulders. Despite the shaking of her hands, Psyche’s voice was firm and loud. “I may have doubted his love for me, I may have fallen into fear and doubt of my future, I may have listened to unwise advice because of my sisterly love, but I have never doubted my love for Cupid. My love is strong; I do not doubt my love, is not false!”

Venus only smirked at her. Venus’ eyes shimmering with her spell and Psyche flinched away from her.

Venus stood then tilted her head to the ceiling, and she closing her eyes as she softly murmured, “I have found your love, my Son, come greet her in the parlor.”

She watched as the girl’s eyes widen - hope flooding her green irises though she could see wariness rise as well.

Fluttering wings echoed in her ears as Cupid entered the parlor. His eyes fell onto Psyche curled in on herself at her place on the floor. He took in her tattered clothes, her hair scattering the mosaic-tiled floor, the bruises forming on her pale skin. He rushed to Psyche to pull her into his embrace.

“My Psyche, who has done this to you?”

Psyche’s eyes darted to Venus, but then bowed her head to hide her face in his chest. The action was enough to unearth the rage in his belly and it overflowed his being.

“YOU,” he shouted at his mother, pulling Psyche closer to his body to shield her. “Why would you do this?”

Venus simply sighed. Her voice pleading as she said, “Oh, my Son, she was pricked by an arrow of your own. Her love is not true. You were struck by your own arrow; your love, as well, is false. I am saving you from this false heartache.”

“No,” he screamed, “I love her, it is pure love! My love has grown past my enchanted arrow’s power. My love is pure!”

Psyche tightened her hold on Cupid’s form and she felt his feathers tickle her arms. She squeezed her eyes shut as she murmured softly of her love to him.

Venus nodded her expression calm.

“But what of her love? Has it grown passed the influence of your arrow? I shall prove to you her love is false. No one can not be persuaded by my spell.”

Cupid looked aghast at his mother’s proposal and he shouted, “No!”

He moved to pull Psyche behind him to shield her from his mother’s eyes before she could cast her spell, but it was too late. Venus trapped the girl in her immortal gaze - her power of persuasion would prove to her son this mortal’s love was conjured up.

She beckoned the girl with her hand. “Come to me, little mortal.”

Psyche was not persuaded.

Author's Note: The story of Cupid and Psyche is similar to Beauty and the Beast. Psyche is known for her beauty and started receiving more and more worship than Venus, Goddess of Love. Venus became jealous and decided to have her son kill Psyche. Ultimately, Cupid falls in love with Psyche when he accidentally struck himself with his arrow. They both fall in love, but Psyche is unaware of Cupid's identity. Cupid only comes to her at night when she cannot see him. They make love and talk during the nights. Cupid told her many times not to try to find out his identity or they would be separated. She is tricked by her sisters to light a candle to expose Cupid, and in the process of admiring him she is pricked by one of his arrows making her "fall even more in love with him". Cupid leaves and Psyche goes to look for him. His mother finds out what happens and finally finds Psyche looking for Cupid. She tortures the girl as depicted in my story. In the end, Psyche becomes immortal and marries Cupid.

The issue I had with Psyche was she was timid, most often idiotic, succumbing to doubt and fear; I wanted her to stand up for herself and her love for Cupid. There was also a lack of Cupid's reaction of his mother torturing Psyche, so I included this in my story.

In mythology, Venus is mentioned to have a 'love power' over people where she can make them do whatever she wants them to do. I decided to play around with this idea with a few tweaks. I called it persuasion power because 'love' can be a powerful persuasion tool. However, her spell does not work on individuals who have found true love - so Psyche experiences 'pure love.' Psyche's love started before she was pricked by Cupid's arrow and it continued to grow beyond the arrow. So in the end, Venus' persuasion spell does not work on Psyche or Cupid since they have 'pure love.' Web Source.


Bibliography: Cupid and Psyche by Apuleius from Web Source

Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche, Part B

Cupid and Psyche 

Venus and the Goddesses 

-   From what I can remember, Gods/Goddesses usually get angry at mortals who will soon die while the the immortals are, in fact, immortal and will stay beautiful as time continues. It seems pity and immature for Gods to by jealous of mortals. 

Psyche's Prayer 

-   At least some goddesses are not pitiful. If she is so good-hearted and loved by all, why is she trying to kill a mortal woman who probably does not even want people's worship meant for Venus.

Venus and Mercury 

-       -     “So, ready to risk the unknown consequences of surrender, even destruction itself, she pondered how she should commence her imminent appeal.”

-       “Now you’re in Death’s claws indeed, and you’ll pay the price for this endless defiance.”

Venus and Psyche 

-       -    “It was not done within the law, and your child too will be illegitimate, if indeed I allow the birth at all.” I like this piece of viciousness. I’ll probably use this quote in a story.

-      -     “Venus flew at her, beat her about the head severely, tore her hair, and ripped her clothes to pieces.” In all honesty, Psyche is acting more like a godly individual than Venus is.

-       The ants reminded me of Snow White when they aid her in sorting the seeds.

Psyche's Task and The Third Task 

-      -      There have been multiple incidents where Psyche has been aided by divine intervention which means there are gods and/or goddesses who pity her enough to help her. This could be because she is the wife of Cupid or the other gods do not think she should be treated as such, but are companions of Venus who do not wish to upset her in fear she will turn on them.

The Jar of Beauty 

-        -   Psyche has issues listening to people who offer her actual, good advice.

The Sleep of the Dead 
- People only offer aid if there is something in it for them. 

The Wedding Feast 

- Apparently, everything is forgiven in the end. Psyche is mad immortal, a goddess of idiotic curiosity. 

(Psyche in the Underworld by Paul-Alfred de Curzon; from Web Source.)

Bibliography: Cupid and Psyche by Apuleius from Web Source

Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche, Part A

Cupid and Psyche

The Captive Woman

-   The description of hunger and starvation: aching jaw, draped in cobwebs, drowsiness 

-   "Don't fear for your life or honor, just 'bear' with our need for money: necessity and poverty led us to this profession." They cared for the girls feeling enough to try and soothe her.

-   She's a spoiled brat, then the old woman is tired of her attitude and threatens the girl to cease her crying

Her Dream

-   The initial reason for her crying, in a long winded lamented of everything she was losing in her moment of kidnapping. The second reason she started crying is a dream of her fiancé being murdered. 

-   Daytime dreams are untrue: dreams of evil deeds, nightmares, sorrows turn out to be the opposite with good cheer and happiness while dreams of laughter, love-making, good things suggest loss and sorrow instead. 

-   The first two sections were interludes to Cupid and Psyche's story. This was reflected from one of the projects I reviewed in my Favorite Storybook’s post .

Psyche's Beauty

-   Earth and ocean descriptions as conversing and sentient beings.

-   The actual goddess was abandoned due to Psyche’s beauty and misunderstanding of identity.

-   Jealously of a god/goddess is never a good think (and so immature).

-   Cupids is a delinquent, and he’s going to fall head over heels in love with Psyche

The Oracle of Apollo

-    The prettiest daughter is not asked to be married, they only admire her for her looks.

-    “Need to obey the divine command.” The flip of a wedding to a funeral due to the gods’ cruel sense of humor.

-    Despite knowing she will ultimately cause the destruction of the world she willingly accepts her fate, form what I can tell.

The Magical Palace

-    A wealthy and beautiful palace, is still a shimmering prison.

The Mysterious Husband

-   “Not even Cupid could compare to you.” The statement is complete foreshadowing!

-   No one can with stand a woman’s loving word and touch, not even a god.

The Jealousy of Psyche's Sisters

-    Her sister’s jealousy is why Psyche’s husband warned her not to entertain them.

-    The sisters remind me of the wicked step-sisters from the Cinderella tale.

Psyche's Husband Warns Her

-     Women’s envy is described as a battleground, a vicious war with no winner.

-     Sweet words once again bewitch Psyche’s husband.

Fears and Doubts

-   "Now hurried to the cliff, and with wild recklessness, not waiting for the attendant breeze, flung themselves into the air." 

-   Jealous women are manipulative and awful. 

-   She must be extremely young to have forgotten her husband's warning of her sisters; and must not have had high confidence in her husband to begin with if she fell to prey to those fears and doubts. 

-   When the sisters said, "Carrying all the treasure back with us, we'll see you joined in proper marriage vows." Psyche should have known something was amiss, but considering the points I made above, I'm not too surprised by her lack of intelligence. 

Psyche's Husband Revealed

-   "Only for you to think me some savage monster and sever my head with a sword, a head that bears the very eyes that love you." I fell in love with this sign, I can feel the despair in Cupid's voice.

-   How ironic they both pricked themselves with Cupid's arrows.

Psyche's Despair
-   The sisters' deaths were quite satisfying and ironic since they through themselves off the cliff in false hope that Cupid would catch them since his servants had before, but only because Psyche begged her husband to do so.

(Cupid and Psyche by Alicechan; from Web Source.)

Bibliography: Cupid and Psyche by Apuleius from Web Source