Feedback Thoughts

(Photo for Web Source.)

RECEIVING:

Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head
Look for the Positive: using one's strength is just as beneficial, if not more, than improving our weaknesses. So constructive criticism is important, but focusing on what one did well is crucial to betterment.
Hear the positive: Embrace and reuse tactics that brought forth the positive feedback, not just the negative.
Dig in to understand the positive: I think exploring praise is something a lot of people have difficulty with because some people will misinterpret this as being smug or arrogant. So learning how to response and communicate with someone without coming off as overconfident is important.
Believe the positive, and act as if it were true: I have trouble following with this step. Despite being given praise and positive feedback, I usually do not believe those who tell me I have done well. Believing what they are saying is something I need to work on, and I hope to succeed in not doubting those who give me positive feedback because they are usually my peers and friends.

Practice, practice, practice listening to those who provide positive feedback and praise.

Using Harsh Feedback to Fuel Your Career

"We hold ourselves back without even realizing it. Why?"

We confuse behavior with identity: Being defensive, oh my old friend. Internalizing negative feedback to your person instead of viewing it as constructive criticism. This also has to go both ways though, because if we are learning how not to internalize negative feedback, we are later reading on how to give feedback. So, the individual who is giving the feedback could not be giving it correctly (but that could be that little thing called defensiveness).
We believe in the fallacy of well-roundedness: I am little confused on this part. From my interpretation, I should set goals for myself, but I should not hold myself to them if they do not turn out as I planned? Also, I should look for help and collaborate with someone who enjoys the task.
We're perfectionists: I have issues with this. I will also push an assignment until the last minute because I do not think myself capable of completing the assignment/project until I have a sense of complete understanding. This ties in with the second point the author mentioned when he stated look for collaborators.

How to overcome these obstacles:
1. Embrace emotions: I do this anyway!
2. Do not demonize: My response to this is: "Love/Care about me less." Very awkward way of investing in me...
3. Prioritize: Go through the feedback and determine what's worth fixing. I do not tend to do this; I weight all feedback equally and I know my mindset is faulty.
4. Piggyback on a skill: or a weakness and work it in a way that is beneficial for you.
5. Commit: Perfection is fantasy. Be appreciate of negative feedback because reflecting back on that feedback will help overcome those weaknesses.



GIVING:

Be a Mirror: Give Readers Feedback That Fosters a Growth Mindset

Five Qualities of Feedback:
1. Be specific: Focus on the progression of how they read the book instead of say how they did it.
2. Focus on what the reader is doing: Not on what they are missing. Only mention what a mirror would notice, and not what is not there.
3. Focus on the process: especially the hard work they put into reading. We want to value their progression and efforts rather than the immediate end result.
4. Make sure it can transfer: We want to be able to apply this to other things not just reading a book.
5. Take yourself out of the feedback: Focus on the child and not the adult. Instead of saying "I liked this part.." one should use "When you..." I think we should use this, but we are not children and I want to write topics that an adult would enjoy. I would like the constructive feedback, and I want to hear they enjoyed my reasonings for writing a detail or few and discuss that aspect of it.

The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem

"You must have worked really hard.": Focus on the efforts of the individual rather than giving end of the results praise like "You're really smart." Focusing on the efforts increases the child's or individuals self-esteem and unconsciously teaches them through hard work and overcoming challenges is rewarding.

"Every child before the age of eight, is a narcissist." I love it, and then heartbreak because parents are doing this unknowingly as they grow older. Parents are overvaluing their children by not praising the their efforts of their hard work, but rather the end results. By the end of the study, the team could link each child's tendency toward self-esteem or narcissism back to the parents. Narcissism is linked to violent outbursts when special treat is not given and because they lack empathy.

Praise on effort increases the chances the child will work harder to succeed after a failure.